


Savile

by wanderingsmith



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 21:59:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5643382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingsmith/pseuds/wanderingsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days, Barney loved watching Christmas pitching one of his tantrums.<br/>It was a little harder to enjoy when Barney had to keep jerking his eyes away from their unconscious drag over his body.  And the damn beautifully fitted suit they'd gotten him rigged with for this damn job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Savile

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I ain't got no money, and nobody'd be daft enough to pay me for this. As it is thought, so let it be said; you make the toys, I play with 'em.

Most days, Barney loved watching Christmas pitching one of his tantrums. Some utterly twisted part of him enjoying the names the brit found to call him for whatever latest thing he'd done that'd annoyed him. A far less twisted, and more predictable, part of him simply loving the way he put his whole heart into the rant; expressions flowing across his face, and his whole body animated.

It was a little harder to enjoy when Barney had to keep jerking his eyes away from their unconscious drag over his body. And the damn beautifully fitted suit they'd gotten him rigged with for this damn job. 

"For fuck's sake, Christmas. The only invite we got our hands on was for some British lord. Can you see any of the rest of us passing for British??"

"You could have tried fucking harder!" still glaring hard enough to singe anyone less burn-proof than Barney, Lee plucked at the satiny trim of the black suit jacket, "You fucking know how much I HATE monkey suits??"

Barney snorted, "Hell yeah, I know. You whined about it for *years* last time. I'm hardly likely to forget!" Whined and ranted and fussed enough that Barney'd promised he'd only ever go that route if it was a last resort. "Just get in there and use that damn supposed charm of yours and find where the damn safe is so we can all go home."

With a last glare and snarl, Christmas finally turned to climb out of the surveillance van and headed for the brightly lit mansion in the middle of Amsterdam's old downtown. 

Toll's cleared throat behind him jerked Barney out of watching the way the jacket shifted over Lee's shoulders as he stretched and twitched his way across the street. Fuck! Not good.

Luckily Toll kept his comment to a raised brow and smirk, Thorn was already focused on hacking the system, and Gunner had put on some audio book back when Lee'd starting snarling that the suit was trying to strangle him. 

"He's in. I've got the security camera feed."

It took Lee two hours of schmoozing to figure out where the hidden safe was and get the damn USB stick out of it. Two hours with Barney's eyes glued to that screen, half because it drove him nuts not to be there to back him up in person, but mostly because he couldn't look away from the absolutely beautiful way that suit flowed over his body. He fucking *tried* not to shift in his seat, but by the end, even Gunner was giving him dry, knowing looks, and he was wondering how he was going to stand up.

Lucky for him, the alarm went off with Christmas still inside and the hard-on vanished as they all scrambled plan B into place. By the time they got Lee away from the Russian mafia, he'd forgotten the problem; focused on getting rid of the chase and then getting them discretely into their hotel.

He remembered with a blast when Lee stood nose to nose with him in the elevator, waft of heated, cologned skin coming out of his opened, sweat-damp collar to whirl around Barney as Lee ranted and waved his arms; and then looped his tie around Barney's neck.

"I am *never* wearing one of these again! I just about strangled myself jumping out that bloody window! Not to mention the bastard that tried to use it to break my fucking neck! *You* wear the fucking tux next time. You can mumble a fake British accent just as good as you mumble American."

Barney just rolled his eyes, trying not to breathe too obviously deep as the arousal that'd faded to an unnoticed tingle flared back to life. "That's real nice, Christmas. Such reassuring words from a friend. Come on, the doors just opened and you smell like you need to get in your shower."

Lee snorted as he stepped back and through the door readily enough, "I smell like daisies."

"Daisies," Barney forced a smirk, following him out into the silent hallway, "If that's what you were going for, you spritzed from the wrong bottle." The scent coming off that fucking tie around his head was anything but daisies. Was *Lee*, through and through. Strong and spicy and musky and-

Shit! Thank god Lee wasn't looking down.

"Says the guy who constantly reeks of smoke."

Barney shoved Lee toward the next door over from his, "You love my cigars; only reason you don't snitch 'em is you're pretending to be a health freak so Toll leaves you alone," getting his door open, he raised a hand when Lee went to reply again, "Just get the fuck in your room, Christmas."

He just had time to see the tongue Lee stuck out at him as his door closed.

And Barney stood still in his dim room, looking for control. 

The first breath, full of Lee's sweat and cologne from that damn tie, convinced him it was a completely wasted effort. He just swore under his breath and threw himself backwards on the bed, hands diving for his jean zipper, shielding his twitching cock from the teeth as he undid the way too fucking tight, now, pants. Finally free, he moaned, relief and frustration and *fuck* the man drove him crazy! 

"Hell. Daisies. Bastard." He grabbed the damn tie, small reasonable part of him thinking he should rip it off and throw it across the room.

Instead, he pulled it up to his nose, moaning again as the scent soaked through his hyper-aware senses. His eyes dropped close as the image of Lee strutting around in that fucking suit filled his mind. His fist slipped down to wrap around his cock to the memory of Lee's eyes, bright with fire, slick skin of his throat open and inviting Barney to lean in to breathe him in, to see if he fucking *tasted* as good as he smelled. Fuck he could probably get off without even the fist he had stripping his cock! Fuck, the sound of Lee's voice after his run through the explosion-filled night, out of breath and still managing to rant-

He didn't hear the connecting door open.

 

Lee tugged at his sleeve again as the door swung open, growling in frustration, "Barney, undo these damn-" 

Looking up to aim his snarl at the man responsible for his imprisonment, he froze at the sight that met his eyes. 

The first response, to walk the fuck back out and leave Barney his privacy, not to mention find some himself, now, came to a screeching halt when he recognized the tie across the man's backward-tilted face. 

*His* tie. As soaked in his sweat, and *not daisies*, as the collar of this fucking shirt, and- Christfuckingchristgnnnhh-

He was barely aware of Barney staring into his eyes in some sort of shock, less aware of somehow covering the few feet to the bed. 

Until he was straddling Barney's thighs on the bouncing bed, the stiffness of those legs dragging his gaze, from Barney's wide, pitch black pupils, down. And he could feel his senses flaring with awareness. Cigar and dirty fire smoke. Heavy breathing. *Both* of them were fucking sweaty. That damn cologne. 

Sharp scent of sex. 

Barney's familiar thick, nicked and bleeding hand, stilled, wrapped tight around his stiff cock, tip slick and glistening in the dim light of the entryway and begging- Lee wrapped his hand slowly around that damp grip, hearing his breathing get louder, then pulled Barney's hand off, grabbing the other off its white-knuckled grip on his thigh. Rising his eyes to Barney's, trying to glare but feeling his eyes too wide, he laid the one hand on his cuff and reluctantly let go the other to move his wrist against it. His voice came out as raspy as Barney's, "Undo these fucking things or I'm taking a knife to them." 

Still looking dazed, and fuck if that cock didn't stay solidly stiff between them, Barney looked down and wordlessly undid the cuff links Lee'd hated on sight. When the first cuff was free, he jerkily presented the other to be freed, eyes drawn to that shiny tie cutting across Barney's nose and lips like some 80s jungle movie camouflage grease. 

The second he had his hands, he ignored Barney's offer of the fucking things, diving for his damn slacks' now restrictive buttons. Barney's hands fell out of his sight and Lee glanced up as he breathed out in relief, catching that gaze locking on his crotch as Barney's lips parted. 

Feeling the hips next to his knees flex, Lee leaned forward, grinning when Barney suddenly jerked his eyes back up to meet Lee's. He didn't wait to hear what Barney looked like he was about to say: he carefully raised that tie, and then laid it neatly across Barney's eyes, nodding in satisfaction as his mouth dropped open without delivering whatever its planned speech had been. He straightened long enough to find Barney's hands, and then pushed them to the bed next to his shoulders as Lee lowered himself on top of him, lining their cocks up side by side. 

And then it was all friction and heat, his blood rushing under his skin, fresh sweat breaking out under the damned suit; and under Barney's layers of shirt and sweater and sleeveless vest. Sweat and other liquid where they were grinding together. Barney's breath running away fast, his head turning into the open collar of Lee's shirt, undeniably breathing him in; undeniably fucking moaning, and Lee could *feel* him swelling against his abs and jerkily rotated his shoulder to give Barney more access, rocking his hips just a little harder and faster. Wanting to watch Barney's face, but feeling himself wanted that bad turning his crank too much to resist inciting it.

And then he felt the body under him jerk hard, and a rush of wet warmth between them as Barney groaned, teeth closing briefly on Lee's neck.

His turn to groan with need, rocking faster against Barney's slicked abs, turning his head to pant against his ear, "You *could*'ve fucking *said* something!"

Still catching his breath, Barney huffed a snort in return, "Are you fucking nuts?"

"Was *getting* th-" he broke off with a groan when Barney tensed his stomach and ground back against him, dragging him that much closer.

"Wouldn't risk losing you outa my life."

"Moron. Fuck- Fuck so close-"

"Let go, Lee, come on," he started shaking at the low gravel growled against the sensitive skin under his ear, "Wanna feel you give it up. Slick me up until that fancy suit's covered with *both* of-"

He was coming before he even felt the teeth pinch his earlobe.

\----

Since Barney wasn't complaining, for once, about his weight or anything else, Lee didn't bother moving, even once he'd caught his breath. Now that they were both cooling down, it was nice to just lay on the easy rise and fall of Barney's chest and listen to the steady pound of his heart under Lee's ear. Their hands still clasped loosely, fingers twitching and vaguely stroking. He teased lazily, "I'd a' cut the links off and just paid for it if I'd known you were gonna cover the damn suit with spunk."

"Nothing dry cleaning can't fix."

Lee chuckled at that lazy, satisfied growl, "Girls at the kiosk'll give you some nasty looks."

"Worth it."

It took a few seconds for that to register, then Lee almost sat up to rant him out. Instead, he stayed where he was to snarl, "If you think I'm wearing this fucking thing again-"

Barney's hips rocking slow up against his interrupted his chain of thought even before the images Barney's almost cajoling tone brought up, "Not even just for me?"


End file.
